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Before Dawn
She looked back over her shoulder at her sister. They locked eyes and Madison was wearing a slightly shocked expression. But other than that, she gave no hint of acknowledgment that she’d trampled over Kate’s feelings. Then she broke the gaze, turning her full attention to her friends.
Kate trudged to class, feeling lower than ever before.
CHAPTER THREE
Kate made it through her first two classes, though her mood didn’t improve. She was relieved when the bell rang and it was lunchtime and she could be reunited with her friends.
Kate stood in line with her friends in the crowded cafeteria and tried not to look too closely at the selection of food. It was pretty dire. Nicole, as a vegetarian, had the hardest time finding stuff she could eat. Today she was having potato waffles and beans, while Dinah and Amy were faring slightly better with chicken tikka masala and rice. Kate thought the curry looked a bit too fatty but Dinah, slightly bigger than average, didn’t care because she was tall and well proportioned. Amy was stick thin and seemed to be able to eat anything she wanted without putting on weight. Nicole seemed to stay trim from her fussiness alone.
In the end, Kate opted for a salad. Though she knew her mom’s taunts about her weight were unfounded, she still couldn’t help but feel like maybe, if she did just lose those extra couple of pounds, her mom wouldn’t be as harsh with her.
“Girl,” Dinah said when she saw her plate, “don’t tell me that’s all you’re eating. Dang, it’s your birthday! Have a dessert at least!”
Kate lowered down in her seat.
“Actually, Tony said if he saw me at lunch he’d get me a cupcake,” she said.
The other three girls all grinned and gave each other looks. Kate felt a little silly to have mentioned it.
“Oh my God,” Nicole suddenly said.
Everyone stopped giggling and looked round to see what she was looking at.
A gorgeous boy had just wandered into the cafeteria.
“Oh,” Kate said, turning back. “That’s Elijah. He’s a new senior, started about a month back. I’ve heard Madison talking about him.”
“That heavenly man’s been walking around the school for a whole month and this is the first I’ve ever seen of him?” Nicole said without a slight bitter tone to her voice. She seemed transfixed by him, like she couldn’t tear her eyes away.
Dinah seemed to like the look of him, too.
“Oh hell yes. He’s got that whole Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic thing going on.”
“But brooding,” Nicole murmured. “Dark and brooding.”
Kate took another look. Elijah was strikingly attractive. But from what she’d heard Madison telling her mom, Elijah was a bit of a loner. He never seemed to have anyone to hang around with. Madison had tried to get him to join her gang when he started a month earlier but he’d been reluctant, something Madison took as a slight. She’d since decided he was a bit of a freak and not worthy of her attention.
He did seem pretty elusive. In fact, this was probably the first time Kate had ever seen him in the cafeteria. San Marcos was a big school but someone like Elijah wasn’t the type to get lost in a crowd. She wondered why she hadn’t seen him more often.
“You know what we were saying about prom?” Nicole said. “I take it back. I’d ditch you three in a heartbeat if it meant I got to go with him!”
Everyone began to laugh. Except for Kate, that is. She’d been looking at Elijah, studying the way he moved through the crowds of people. He was so light on his feet it almost looked like he was floating. He had a graceful way of moving, like each step was part of a dance routine. It was mesmerizing.
Just then, he turned his head as though sensing someone looking at him. Their eyes met across the busy cafeteria. In that moment, Kate felt a sensation wash through her like nothing she’d felt before. It was like a bolt of electricity striking her, like every nerve ending in her body had been set on fire.
A group of younger kids walked past Kate’s table, blocking her view.
By the time they’d passed, Elijah was gone.
She craned her head, trying to see him exiting through the door he’d been headed toward, but she couldn’t see him at all. He’d disappeared.
“Guys,” Kate said to her laughing friends, “did you just see that?”
They all looked at her, confused.
“See what?”
“Elijah. He was there one minute, and then he completely disappeared.”
She kept looking at the spot where he’d been a moment before. There was no way he could have left the cafeteria that quickly.
“Elijah,” Nicole laughed, clutching her heart theatrically. Then she looked at Kate with mock aggression. “I will fight you for him, you know. Fists, hair pulling, nail scratching, the whole shebang.”
The girls started laughing again, but Kate didn’t join in. Her gaze was transfixed on the spot where Elijah had once stood. Her mind was reeling.
What had she just witnessed?
CHAPTER FOUR
Kate walked with the other girls back down the crowded halls, lost in her own world. Her mind was still reeling. The other girls didn’t seem to understand why she was so shaken, and every time she insisted that Elijah had literally disappeared in front of her face they found some way to explain it away. She’d gotten tired of trying to make them understand and had ended up leaving lunch in a huff.
By the time the school day was over, Kate’s stomach was groaning. All she’d eaten was a plain yogurt and a salad, and a couple of chocolates from the box Dinah had given her. Along with her emotional morning, the angry, fast cycle ride here, and the weirdness of Elijah disappearing into thin air, it was converging to make her feel weak and lightheaded.
She unlocked her bike and began her cycle ride home, making sure she took it easy; she didn’t want to fall. Her bag, filled with textbooks and gifts from her friends, was heavy, making the ride even more exhausting.
The sun wasn’t quite as painfully hot at three p.m. and there was a cool breeze coming up off the ocean. In the distance, Kate could see the mountains of Rattlesnake Canyon Park. It was one of her favorite places to go. She loved nature, the quiet, the beauty of it. She liked to go up there on weekends and think about life. It always reminded her that the world was vast and that her home life was just one tiny slither of experiences the earth had to offer.
Would she ever get to see the world though? Without college, how would she ever get to live the life she wanted? She couldn’t bear the thought of being stuck in California for another year, cleaning rich people’s houses like her mom did, stuck to her side like a shadow. It wasn’t fair! Why should she have to earn money for Madison’s tuition? Madison was nowhere near as studious as Kate; in fact, she probably only wanted to go to college to meet guys.
Kate decided then that she’d have to find a way to keep back some of her earnings so she could save up for a plane ticket to the East Coast and then just disappear one day. It seemed like a dramatic solution but what other choice did she have?
Kate was so lost in her thoughts she hadn’t noticed the group of people ahead of her before she was almost upon them. They were senior guys from her school and they were milling all over the sidewalk and road, shouting and shoving in a jumble. Kate was about to steer around them when she realized that there was someone between them. A boy was being battered around like a beach ball, jostled back and forth, from one guy to another. She noticed the guy’s dark hair and delicate features. It was Elijah.
“Hey!” Kate shouted, slamming on her brakes beside the group. “Leave him alone!”
One of the guys turned to her, scowling. “Run along, little girl,” he said, cruelly. “I don’t think your boyfriend wants rescuing from a girl.”
Just then, Kate got a proper look at Elijah. He was downcast. There was a tear in the shoulder of his T-shirt. But as the boys ignored Kate and went back to pushing him back and forth, he didn’t even stick up for himself.
“Elijah!” she shouted. “Fight back!”
He looked at her then, as though seeing her for the first time, but continued to walk. She couldn’t understand.
But Kate wasn’t about to leave Elijah to get his ass kicked because of some stupid masculine belief that girls couldn’t stick up for guys. She had a bike, which meant she was faster, and she could use it as a battering ram.
She hitched her backpack off, heavy and lumpy with textbooks. She swung it and charged at the gang of guys, smacking one of them across the back with it.
“Hey!” he shouted, stumbling forward. “Get off, you lunatic.”
He didn’t seem too ruffled by Kate, though she hoped he was just trying to save face in front of his friends.
Maybe it was dumb taking on a group of senior boys with nothing but her bag and bike as weapons, but Kate had been overtaken by some kind of force, like a protective goose looking after her nest. She was standing up against Elijah’s bullies in the way she wished Madison would stand up for her against their bully of a mom.
She doubled back on herself, cycling at them as fast as she could go, making them scatter all over the place.
“Who is that freak?” one of the guys was saying to another as he dodged out of the way.
“Isn’t she Madison’s sister or something?” another replied, laughing at the sight of Kate wielding her backpack.
“Ew, gross,” the first said. “But Madison’s so hot. She must be adopted, right?”
Fueled by their rude comments, Kate charged again. She smacked another guy with her backpack, so hard this time he staggered into another. They both fell to the ground in a heap.
Trying to save face, the guys began dispersing, like a bunch of kids leaving their ice cream to an irritating, persistent wasp. They’d clearly realized that Kate would make their attack on Elijah more hassle than it was worth.
Kate was panting hard from the exertion and anxiety, though there was a little bit of triumphant adrenaline coursing through her as well. She glared at the boys as they left, sauntering down the road, then turned back to where Elijah had been.
But Elijah had gone.
“Hey!” Kate shouted aloud. The least the jerk could have done was stick around to say thank you.
She craned her head around, trying to see where he’d gone. But the more she looked, the more it became apparent to her that there was no way Elijah had had the time to disappear from her sight. There were no houses or shops along this part of the road for him to go into, just a rocky mountainous patch on one side and a steep drop down to the roofs of the houses on the street below on the other. Where had he gone?
She looked around, squinting against the bright sunlight, but he was nowhere to be seen. Then she caught sight of a figure right down at the bottom of the hill, walking along in that graceful, precise way she recognized to be Elijah’s. She had no idea how he’d gotten so far in such a short space of time. She wanted to put it down to the adrenaline messing with her perception, but an uneasy feeling was starting to overcome her. It was just like in the cafeteria. Elijah, she was certain, could move across distances faster than possible.
Kate wasn’t sure what compelled her to chase after him. Maybe it was that whole being seventeen and not wanting to put up with so much crap from people, but she felt at the very least she deserved some gratitude from him for putting her neck on the line. She’d squashed the box of chocolates from Dinah while bashing the boys. They were seeping gooey pink sugar filling all over the inside of her bag. And her copy of Romeo and Juliet had a huge crease across the cover now.
She began pedaling in the direction of Elijah. It was a long road and at points it became quite steep. All Kate had to do was lean forward and let gravity propel her down the hill. She was usually a slow, careful cyclist, not much of a thrill seeker, and it felt good to feel the wind racing through her hair as she careened down the hill.
“Hey!” she shouted when she thought Elijah might be in earshot.
He turned and gave her a puzzled expression. Once again, the moment their eyes locked, a strange sensation swept through Kate. There was an intensity in Elijah’s eyes, a haunted sort of expression behind them. If the eyes were indeed the window to the soul, Elijah’s soul seemed to be old before its time.
Dazed by the sensations coursing through her body, Kate squeezed the brakes on her handlebars. But she was going way faster than she normally would, her bike was old, the brakes were a little worn, and they didn’t engage as quickly as she would have liked. She was practically flying, approaching the end of the road at a crazy speed. At the bottom, she realized with dread, was the highway.
Kate’s heart began hammering as she realized there was no way she would be able to stop in time. She was heading right for the road.
Time seemed to slow to a painful pace as she raced to the inevitable, unstoppable conclusion that she was about to die. Her bike passed the stop sign, her useless brakes screeching and making the smell of burned rubber permeate all around her. Then she flew right over the white markings in the road – and right into oncoming traffic.
Kate caught sight of an RV heading right for her. She saw the eyes of the startled driver – and then she felt the impact.
Kate’s body slammed against the RV. She didn’t feel any pain at all but she knew from the deafening crunch noise that she’d broken something. Possibly everything.
The car’s horn began to blare as she bounced off the windshield, rolling up then back down again, all the way. Her bike was flying up into the air, then falling. She rolled off the front of the RV and hit the ground with a crash, head first.
Black stars danced across her vision. Her bike landed beside her, breaking into pieces on impact with the hard asphalt. Kate became aware of the sensation of numbness, of the metallic smell of blood.
But the pain didn’t come. She knew it was bad. Bad that she wasn’t moving. Bad that she wasn’t feeling anything.
Kate’s head fell to the side and her gaze found the glittering ocean in the distance. As though at the end of a long tunnel, Kate could hear the sound of cars braking, of car doors slamming and people crying out. She could smell gasoline and rubber and metal, and something burning.
Then, through all the chaos, she saw Elijah’s face appear before her and felt herself being scooped up into his arms. He was saying something, but she couldn’t make sense of the words. His expression was intense, panicked.
And just before her vision went black, she thought she saw fangs protrude from his mouth. She couldn’t move at all, couldn’t even scream. But there came the sensation of something sharp, hot, and wet on her neck, she was sure of it.
Then the world disappeared.
CHAPTER FIVE
The first thing Kate became aware of was an electronic beeping sound. She hadn’t spent much time thinking about dying, but she was pretty sure it sounded like this. It was soon joined by another noise; a squeaking. And then she became acutely aware of the sensation of moving forward.
Wheels, she thought. I’m on a gurney.
Then came a strange, overly clean smell, like bleach and detergent.
I’m in a hospital, she thought.
So not dead then, she realized. At least not yet.
Kate felt something in her throat and something else digging into her arm. Not painful but irritating. She tried to raise a hand but nothing happened. She could hear strange noises coming from above her, like people talking through water. As the seconds passed the distortions became less pronounced, and she began to pick out voices and words.
“It’s a miracle,” someone said. It was a voice she didn’t recognize.
“I’ve never seen anyone come back with these kinds of injuries,” another voice said.
“We’ll see if we can get consent from the parents to test her,” the first said again. “Because she was flat-lining when they picked her up, then all of a sudden she was breathing again. They hadn’t even had time to defibrillate her.”
Kate wondered how long it had been since the RV had hit her. Had she just gotten to the hospital or had she spent years in a coma? The latter thought made her start to panic. What if she’d been knocked unconscious on her seventeenth birthday and only woken up again on her thirtieth birthday? Or fortieth? Or eightieth!
She began getting increasingly agitated at the thought of coming face to face with Amy, Dinah, and Nicole, all married with children. She knew she was lucky to be alive, but the thought that everyone had moved on without her was terrifying.
Somehow, as though fueled by her intense emotions, she managed to get her eyelids to open.
“She’s waking up,” someone said.
“That’s not possible. She’s in an induced coma.”
“I’m telling you!” the first said again, more insistently. “She just opened her goddamn eyes.”
Kate could tell by the tones of their voices that something wasn’t right. The speed with which she’d been hit, the angle with which she hit the ground, the way her head had collided with the asphalt – she absolutely one hundred percent should have been dead.
Hearing their voices, knowing that she had somehow defied all logic to be still be alive, made her start to panic even more. She started blinking and began to be able to focus on her surroundings. White ceiling tiles were flashing above her and on either side were doctors and paramedics, all looking confused.
She tried to ask what was happening to her but she couldn’t move her tongue properly. There was something in her mouth.
She reached out with a hand, trying to grab one of the doctors. As she moved, she noticed the line coming from her wrist. It was some kind of needle, a drip or IV. The sight made her feel queasy – she’d never liked needles. There was dried blood on her arm.
Kate realized then that it was very soon after the accident. There’d be no blood on her otherwise, and no paramedics. They wouldn’t be rushing her down a corridor like this. If she’d been in a coma for years and years she’d be lying in some ward somewhere, completely forgotten by everyone, probably covered in dust and cobwebs.
Knowing that no significant time had passed calmed her down a little, but she was still unnerved by the doctors and the expressions on their faces.
At last she managed to reach out and clasp hold of one of the doctor’s sleeves. He looked down at where her hand was gripping him, bunching the fabric up. His face paled, as if he were looking at a ghost. He looked up at the paramedic.
“I thought you said her bones were shattered.”
The paramedic looked down at her hand, too.
“They were,” he said.
All at once he stopped walking, as though so completely stunned he could no longer carry on. They left him behind and he disappeared from view.
Finally, Kate felt the gurney turn a corner, and at last she came to a rest. The doctors were fussing round her, attaching her to different machines, all making their own kind of bleeping noise. She was prodded and poked. But with every minute that passed, she seemed to regain another faculty, or control over another body part.
She tried to speak but that thing in her throat was in the way. So she reached up and felt a sort of plastic guard around her mouth.
“Hey, hey, hey,” one of the doctors said, trying to guide her hand away. “That’s helping you breathe. Leave it where it is.”
She did as she was told.
“Let’s increase her propofol,” one of the doctors was saying to another. “There’s still a chance of brain swelling. A coma will give her the best chance of reducing damage.”
“She’s had the maximum dose,” the second said.
“Well then there’s been a mistake,” the first argued. “That paramedic seemed out of it to me. Probably wrote down the wrong thing. There’s no way that girl’s had the maximum dose.”
“Okay, fine, if you say so.”
Kate felt a tingling sensation from the place where the drip was inserted in her wrist. A weird feeling crept through her body, like the sort of tiredness you feel during a boring movie. It definitely didn’t feel like she was being anesthetized.
The doctors were all looking at each other now.
“There must be something wrong with the supply,” the first said. “Oh God, look into it, will you? The last thing we need right now is another lawsuit.”
One of the doctors disappeared, leaving just two behind.
One of them leaned down. He shined a flashlight into each of her pupils.
“Are you on drugs?” he asked.
She shook her head.
He didn’t look like he believed her.
“Because if you’re on anything that might interfere with the propofol we need to know. No amphetamines?”
Kate shook her head again. She desperately wanted the tube out of her throat so she could speak to them.
The doctors looked at each other, completely at a loss as to what to do. Just then, another person walked over to the bed. It was a woman in a suit.
“We’ve got an ID for the girl,” she said. “There was a card in her backpack. Kate Roswell from San Marcos Senior High School. The principal is going to get me the parents’ phone numbers.”
The doctors nodded.
“Or you could have just asked her yourself,” one of them said, gesturing to where Kate was lying in bed, wide awake, blinking patiently.
The woman faltered.
“I was told she was being put into a coma.”
“She was,” the other doctor said.
The two of them gawked at her, and they seemed completely stunned.
“Can you excuse us for a moment?”
They walked off together, in a daze.
The woman turned to Kate.
“Kate, can you hear me?” she said.
Kate nodded.
“And you’re Kate Roswell, is that right?”
Kate nodded again.
“I’m Brenda Masters, I’m a social worker here at the hospital. Has anyone told you what happened?”
Kate shook her head. But she didn’t need to be told. She remembered everything. The RV as it slammed into her body, crushing her bones to pieces. The blackness creeping into her vision as she felt death closing in on her. And Elijah. Elijah with his fangs bared, sinking them into her neck.
“Typical doctors,” the woman said. “They never think to actually speak to the patients.” Brenda sat herself down in the seat next to Kate. “You were hit by an RV. You’re in Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital. I’ll be working with you and your parents while you recuperate. Don’t worry, they’re going to be here really soon.”
Brenda patted her arm.
But the last thing Kate wanted right now was her family. They’d find some way to blame her, surely. They’d say she was reckless for letting the brakes on her bike become faulty, or for riding down that hill too fast. She could imagine her mom now, laying into her. Worse, she might claim that Kate was attention seeking because of Madison getting to go to college and her not having a cake on her birthday. A million thoughts crossed her mind and tears brimmed in her eyes.
A small frown appeared between Brenda’s eyebrows. “You don’t want your parents here?” she asked.
Kate shook her head again and one of her tears fell down her cheek.
The woman seemed concerned by the revelation. She probably didn’t understand why a seventeen-year-old girl who’d been in a near fatal accident didn’t want her family around her. She’d probably never met anyone like the Roswells.
“Did you do something you weren’t supposed to?” Brenda said gently. “Because if you’re worried they’ll be angry at you then I’m sure that won’t be the case. They’ll just want to know you’re okay.”
Kate shook her head again. They would be angry, yes, but it wasn’t because of what she’d done specifically. It was because of her very existence.
Her tears began to fall in torrents.
“We have to inform your parents,” the woman said. “You’re legally a child.” Then her voice softened. “Kate, I’m going to ask you something important and I want you to really think about how you answer. Nod yes if you agree with what I say and shake your head no if you don’t. Kate, do your parents hurt you?”
Kate swallowed, her throat sore against the tube. How she desperately wanted to nod yes. But her life didn’t constitute abuse, not in the way that woman meant. At least, she didn’t think so anyway. But did abuse always have to mean punches and kicks, or could it mean being deprived of food, being ostracized for no reason, being ignored on your birthday? Kate didn’t fully know. And though she was aware that a simple nod of the head now could set a whole chain of events in motion, could perhaps even see her taken from her home and placed with people who didn’t despise her and wanted her to go to college, there was always Max to think about. She couldn’t put him through that kind of trauma, he was just a kid.
She shook her head.
The woman nodded, seemingly satisfied with the answer. She probably thought Kate was some silly teenage runaway. That she’d gone out thrill seeking and got herself nearly killed and was trying to avoid being disciplined.
“I’ll make the call,” the woman said, standing and smoothing down her skirt.
She left and Kate realized she was alone for the first time. The tube in her throat was absolutely maddening. It itched like crazy. And she desperately wanted to be able to speak. She needed to ask someone where Elijah was. She remembered being cradled in his arms. Why didn’t he come with her in the ambulance? It must have been him who’d called it.
Kate managed to sit up in her hospital bed, finally getting herself a decent view of the ward. It was filled with other people asleep. She realized they were all in comas, just like how she was supposed to be. They’d wheeled her here expecting her to be out until whatever swelling that her brain may have had had gone down. But her body had completely rejected the drugs.
Her bones had healed too. That’s what the doctor had said. Every bone in her arm –ulna, radius, humerus – had been shattered and yet she felt no pain at all. In fact, her arms were working perfectly well. She could rotate her hands in front of her and wiggle all her fingers. In fact… she reached to her mouth and found the strange plastic mouthpiece. She wedged her fingers under it and began to pull.
The tube started sliding up out of her throat. It was incredibly uncomfortable, but she kept pulling until the whole thing was out. At last she could take a proper breath for herself. She threw the tube to the floor, glad to be rid of it.
The next thing irritating her was the IV in her arm. She ripped off the plaster securing it in place and tugged the needle out. Blood appeared from her skin and she licked it up instinctively.
Without the tubes and wires, she felt much more comfortable, and much more able to assess the situation. Her body felt different but not in a bad way. There was no pain anywhere at all. The only discomfort she was aware of now that the tube was out was a gnawing sensation in her stomach. She was starving. Was that a usual thing to feel after a near death experience?
She touched her body through the thin paper dress. Everything was where it was supposed to be. She felt a little annoyed that they’d probably cut all her clothes off in order to check for wounds that weren’t really there. But… how hadn’t she sustained any injuries? No cracked ribs or punctured lungs. No ruptured organs at all. It was all so confusing.
She noticed then that her backpack had been wheeled in with her. She reached down and found her book from Amy covered in the squished chocolate from Dinah. Then right at the bottom she found her cell phone. She’d never been allowed a smartphone like Madison, so she had one of those cheap yet indestructible ones. Luckily, it had survived the accident.
She grabbed it and texted Amy first, partly because her name was quicker to get to and partly because she was her closest friend of the three.
Hit by car. Totally fine. Plz find Elijah.
She hit send and waited. A few seconds passed before she got her reply.
WHAT!?!?!??!
Kate sighed. Clearly Amy wasn’t going to listen to her when she said she was totally fine. She texted back.
Honestly, no big deal. Nothing broken. Plz plz plz find Elijah.
Amy’s reply arrived moments later.
Ur clearly sick!! Where r u?
Frustrated, Kate put her phone down on the bed beside her. She desperately needed to find Elijah and ask him what was going on. She was certain he would know.
Just then, she noticed the doctors approaching the bed. They’d found another one, an older man with white hair, and they were striding purposefully toward her. When they saw her sitting up, with the tube on the ground and the IV drip lying on the bed, they stopped where they were.
“Is this some kind of joke?” the new, white-haired doctor said.
The others shook their heads emphatically. “I was with her the second she got out of the ambulance. The paramedics said she’d flatlined but when she came out of the ambulance she was breathing.”
“She’d had two doses of propofol,” the other added.
“How is she sitting up like that?” the white-haired doctor said.
Kate started to get very frustrated with the way they were talking about her rather than to her. She was the one who’d just been through a traumatic experience and they were treating her like a circus freak show act.
“Hi,” she said, relieved to find the tube had done nothing bad to her throat. “I think I’m feeling better now. Can I go home? I don’t see the point in worrying my family.”
She started to get up but the doctors ushered her down.
“No, wait. I’m sorry but you can’t go until we’ve tested you. You might have brain damage.”
“I’m pretty sure I don’t,” Kate said. “Want me to say the alphabet backwards or something?”
The doctor with the white hair looked at the others, astounded. Finally, he asked the question that was on everyone’s lips:
“What are you?”
