Аристофан
The Eleven Comedies, Volume 2
THE BIRDS
INTRODUCTION
The Birds' differs markedly from all the other Comedies of Aristophanes which have come down to us in subject and general conception. It is just an extravaganza pure and simple—a graceful, whimsical theme chosen expressly for the sake of the opportunities it afforded of bright, amusing dialogue, pleasing lyrical interludes, and charming displays of brilliant stage effects and pretty dresses. Unlike other plays of the same Author, there is here apparently no serious political motif underlying the surface burlesque and buffoonery.
Some critics, it is true, profess to find in it a reference to the unfortunate Sicilian Expedition, then in progress, and a prophecy of its failure and the political downfall of Alcibiades. But as a matter of fact, the whole thing seems rather an attempt on the dramatist's part to relieve the overwrought minds of his fellow-citizens, anxious and discouraged at the unsatisfactory reports from before Syracuse, by a work conceived in a lighter vein than usual and mainly unconnected with contemporary realities.
The play was produced in the year 414 B.C., just when success or failure in Sicily hung in the balance, though already the outlook was gloomy, and many circumstances pointed to impending disaster. Moreover, the public conscience was still shocked and perturbed over the mysterious affair of the mutilation of the Hermae, which had occurred immediately before the sailing of the fleet, and strongly suspicious of Alcibiades' participation in the outrage. In spite of the inherent charm of the subject, the splendid outbursts of lyrical poetry in some of the choruses and the beauty of the scenery and costumes, 'The Birds' failed to win the first prize. This was acclaimed to a play of Aristophanes' rival, Amipsias, the title of which, 'The Comastae,' or 'Revellers,' "seems to imply that the chief interest was derived from direct allusions to the outrage above mentioned and to the individuals suspected to have been engaged in it."
For this reason, which militated against its immediate success, viz. the absence of direct allusion to contemporary politics—there are, of course, incidental references here and there to topics and personages of the day—the play appeals perhaps more than any other of our Author's productions to the modern reader. Sparkling wit, whimsical fancy, poetic charm, are of all ages, and can be appreciated as readily by ourselves as by an Athenian audience of two thousand years ago, though, of course, much is inevitably lost "without the important adjuncts of music, scenery, dresses and what we may call 'spectacle' generally, which we know in this instance to have been on the most magnificent scale."
"The plot is this. Euelpides and Pisthetaerus, two old Athenians, disgusted with the litigiousness, wrangling and sycophancy of their countrymen, resolve upon quitting Attica. Having heard of the fame of Epops (the hoopoe), sometime called Tereus, and now King of the Birds, they determine, under the direction of a raven and a jackdaw, to seek from him and his subject birds a city free from all care and strife." Arrived at the Palace of Epops, they knock, and Trochilus (the wren), in a state of great flutter, as he mistakes them for fowlers, opens the door and informs them that his Majesty is asleep. When he awakes, the strangers appear before him, and after listening to a long and eloquent harangue on the superior attractions of a residence among the birds, they propose a notable scheme of their own to further enhance its advantages and definitely secure the sovereignty of the universe now exercised by the gods of Olympus.
The birds are summoned to meet in general council. They come flying up from all quarters of the heavens, and after a brief misunderstanding, during which they come near tearing the two human envoys to pieces, they listen to the exposition of the latters' plan. This is nothing less than the building of a new city, to be called Nephelococcygia, or 'Cloud-cuckoo-town,' between earth and heaven, to be garrisoned and guarded by the birds in such a way as to intercept all communication of the gods with their worshippers on earth. All steam of sacrifice will be prevented from rising to Olympus, and the Immortals will very soon be starved into an acceptance of any terms proposed.
The new Utopia is duly constructed, and the daring plan to secure the sovereignty is in a fair way to succeed. Meantime various quacks and charlatans, each with a special scheme for improving things, arrive from earth, and are one after the other exposed and dismissed. Presently arrives Prometheus, who informs Epops of the desperate straits to which the gods are by this time reduced, and advises him to push his claims and demand the hand of Basileia (Dominion), the handmaid of Zeus. Next an embassy from the Olympians appears on the scene, consisting of Heracles, Posidon and a god from the savage regions of the Triballians. After some disputation, it is agreed that all reasonable demands of the birds are to be granted, while Pisthetaerus is to have Basileia as his bride. The comedy winds up with the epithalamium in honour of the nuptials.
* * * * *
THE BIRDS
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
EUELPIDES.
PISTHETAERUS.
EPOPS (the Hoopoe).
TROCHILUS, Servant to Epops.
PHOENICOPTERUS.
HERALDS.
A PRIEST.
A POET.
A PROPHET.
METON, a Geometrician.
A COMMISSIONER.
A DEALER IN DECREES.
IRIS.
A PARRICIDE.
CINESIAS, a Dithyrambic Bard.
AN INFORMER.
PROMETHEUS.
POSIDON.
TRIBALLUS.
HERACLES.
SERVANT of PISTHETAERUS.
MESSENGERS.
CHORUS OF BIRDS.
SCENE: A wild, desolate tract of open country; broken rocks and brushwood occupy the centre of the stage.
* * * * *
THE BIRDS
EUELPIDES (to his jay).175 Do you think I should walk straight for yon tree?
PISTHETAERUS (to his crow). Cursed beast, what are you croaking to me?… to retrace my steps?
EUELPIDES. Why, you wretch, we are wandering at random, we are exerting ourselves only to return to the same spot; 'tis labour lost.
PISTHETAERUS. To think that I should trust to this crow, which has made me cover more than a thousand furlongs!
EUELPIDES. And I to this jay, who has torn every nail from my fingers!
PISTHETAERUS. If only I knew where we were. . . .
EUELPIDES. Could you find your country again from here?
PISTHETAERUS. No, I feel quite sure I could not, any more than could Execestides176 find his.
EUELPIDES. Oh dear! oh dear!
PISTHETAERUS. Aye, aye, my friend, 'tis indeed the road of "oh dears" we are following.
EUELPIDES. That Philocrates, the bird-seller, played us a scurvy trick, when he pretended these two guides could help us to find Tereus,177 the Epops, who is a bird, without being born of one. He has indeed sold us this jay, a true son of Tharelides,178 for an obolus, and this crow for three, but what can they do? Why, nothing whatever but bite and scratch!—What's the matter with you then, that you keep opening your beak? Do you want us to fling ourselves headlong down these rocks? There is no road that way.
PISTHETAERUS. Not even the vestige of a track in any direction.
EUELPIDES. And what does the crow say about the road to follow?
PISTHETAERUS. By Zeus, it no longer croaks the same thing it did.
EUELPIDES. And which way does it tell us to go now?
PISTHETAERUS. It says that, by dint of gnawing, it will devour my fingers.
EUELPIDES. What misfortune is ours! we strain every nerve to get to the birds,179 do everything we can to that end, and we cannot find our way! Yes, spectators, our madness is quite different to that of Sacas. He is not a citizen, and would fain be one at any cost; we, on the contrary, born of an honourable tribe and family and living in the midst of our fellow-citizens, we have fled from our country as hard as ever we could go. 'Tis not that we hate it; we recognize it to be great and rich, likewise that everyone has the right to ruin himself; but the crickets only chirrup among the fig-trees for a month or two, whereas the Athenians spend their whole lives in chanting forth judgments from their law courts.180 That is why we started off with a basket, a stew-pot and some myrtle boughs181 and have come to seek a quiet country in which to settle. We are going to Tereus, the Epops, to learn from him, whether, in his aerial flights, he has noticed some town of this kind.
PISTHETAERUS. Here! look!
EUELPIDES. What's the matter?
PISTHETAERUS. Why, the crow has been pointing me to something up there for some time now.
EUELPIDES. And the jay is also opening its beak and craning its neck to show me I know not what. Clearly, there are some birds about here. We shall soon know, if we kick up a noise to start them.
PISTHETAERUS. Do you know what to do? Knock your leg against this rock.
EUELPIDES. And you your head to double the noise.
PISTHETAERUS. Well then use a stone instead; take one and hammer with it.
EUELPIDES. Good idea! Ho there, within! Slave! slave!
PISTHETAERUS. What's that, friend! You say, "slave," to summon Epops!
'Twould be much better to shout, "Epops, Epops!"
EUELPIDES. Well then, Epops! Must I knock again? Epops!
TROCHILUS. Who's there? Who calls my master?
EUELPIDES. Apollo the Deliverer! what an enormous beak!182
TROCHILUS. Good god! they are bird-catchers.
EUELPIDES. The mere sight of him petrifies me with terror. What a horrible monster!
TROCHILUS. Woe to you!
EUELPIDES. But we are not men.
TROCHILUS. What are you, then?
EUELPIDES. I am the Fearling, an African bird.
TROCHILUS. You talk nonsense.
EUELPIDES. Well, then, just ask it of my feet.183
TROCHILUS. And this other one, what bird is it?
PISTHETAERUS. I? I am a Cackling,184 from the land of the pheasants.
EUELPIDES. But you yourself, in the name of the gods! what animal are you?
TROCHILUS. Why, I am a slave-bird.
EUELPIDES. Why, have you been conquered by a cock?
TROCHILUS. No, but when my master was turned into a peewit, he begged me to become a bird too, to follow and to serve him.
EUELPIDES. Does a bird need a servant, then?
TROCHILUS. 'Tis no doubt because he was a man. At times he wants to eat a dish of loach from Phalerum; I seize my dish and fly to fetch him some. Again he wants some pea-soup; I seize a ladle and a pot and run to get it.
EUELPIDES. This is, then, truly a running-bird.185 Come, Trochilus, do us the kindness to call your master.
TROCHILUS. Why, he has just fallen asleep after a feed of myrtle-berries and a few grubs.
EUELPIDES. Never mind; wake him up.
TROCHILUS. I am certain he will be angry. However, I will wake him to please you.
PISTHETAERUS. You cursed brute! why, I am almost dead with terror!
EUELPIDES. Oh! my god! 'twas sheer fear that made me lose my jay.
PISTHETAERUS. Ah! you great coward! were you so frightened that you let go your jay?
EUELPIDES. And did you not lose your crow, when you fell sprawling on the ground? Pray tell me that.
PISTHETAERUS. No, no.
EUELPIDES. Where is it, then?
PISTHETAERUS. It has flown away.
EUELPIDES. Then you did not let it go! Oh! you brave fellow!
EPOPS. Open the forest,186 that I may go out!
EUELPIDES. By Heracles! what a creature! what plumage! What means this triple crest?
EPOPS. Who wants me?
EUELPIDES. The twelve great gods have used you ill, meseems.
EPOPS. Are you chaffing me about my feathers? I have been a man, strangers.
EUELPIDES. 'Tis not you we are jeering at.
EPOPS. At what, then?
EUELPIDES. Why, 'tis your beak that looks so odd to us.
EPOPS. This is how Sophocles outrages me in his tragedies. Know, I once was Tereus.187
EUELPIDES. You were Tereus, and what are you now? a bird or a peacock?188
EPOPS. I am a bird.
EUELPIDES. Then where are your feathers? For I don't see them.
EPOPS. They have fallen off.
EUELPIDES. Through illness.
EPOPS. No. All birds moult their feathers, you know, every winter, and others grow in their place. But tell me, who are you?
EUELPIDES. We? We are mortals.
EPOPS. From what country?
EUELPIDES. From the land of the beautiful galleys.189
EPOPS. Are you dicasts?190
EUELPIDES. No, if anything, we are anti-dicasts.
EPOPS. Is that kind of seed sown among you?191
EUELPIDES. You have to look hard to find even a little in our fields.
EPOPS. What brings you here?
EUELPIDES. We wish to pay you a visit.
EPOPS. What for?
EUELPIDES. Because you formerly were a man, like we are, formerly you had debts, as we have, formerly you did not want to pay them, like ourselves; furthermore, being turned into a bird, you have when flying seen all lands and seas. Thus you have all human knowledge as well as that of birds. And hence we have come to you to beg you to direct us to some cosy town, in which one can repose as if on thick coverlets.
EPOPS. And are you looking for a greater city than Athens?
EUELPIDES. No, not a greater, but one more pleasant to dwell in.
EPOPS. Then you are looking for an aristocratic country.
EUELPIDES. I? Not at all! I hold the son of Scellias in horror.192
EPOPS. But, after all, what sort of city would please you best?
EUELPIDES. A place where the following would be the most important business transacted.—Some friend would come knocking at the door quite early in the morning saying, "By Olympian Zeus, be at my house early, as soon as you have bathed, and bring your children too. I am giving a nuptial feast, so don't fail, or else don't cross my threshold when I am in distress."
EPOPS. Ah! that's what may be called being fond of hardships. And what say you?
PISTHETAERUS. My tastes are similar.
EPOPS. And they are?
PISTHETAERUS. I want a town where the father of a handsome lad will stop in the street and say to me reproachfully as if I had failed him, "Ah! Is this well done, Stilbonides! You met my son coming from the bath after the gymnasium and you neither spoke to him, nor embraced him, nor took him with you, nor ever once twitched his testicles. Would anyone call you an old friend of mine?"
EPOPS. Ah! wag, I see you are fond of suffering. But there is a city of delights, such as you want. 'Tis on the Red Sea.
EUELPIDES. Oh, no. Not a sea-port, where some fine morning the Salaminian193 galley can appear, bringing a writ-server along. Have you no Greek town you can propose to us?
EPOPS. Why not choose Lepreum in Elis for your settlement?
EUELPIDES. By Zeus! I could not look at Lepreum without disgust, because of Melanthius.194
EPOPS. Then, again, there is the Opuntian, where you could live.
EUELPIDES. I would not be Opuntian195 for a talent. But come, what is it like to live with the birds? You should know pretty well.
EPOPS. Why, 'tis not a disagreeable life. In the first place, one has no purse.
EUELPIDES. That does away with much roguery.
EPOPS. For food the gardens yield us white sesame, myrtle-berries, poppies and mint.
EUELPIDES. Why, 'tis the life of the newly-wed indeed.196
PISTHETAERUS. Ha! I am beginning to see a great plan, which will transfer the supreme power to the birds, if you will but take my advice.
EPOPS. Take your advice? In what way?
PISTHETAERUS. In what way? Well, firstly, do not fly in all directions with open beak; it is not dignified. Among us, when we see a thoughtless man, we ask, "What sort of bird is this?" and Teleas answers, "'Tis a man who has no brain, a bird that has lost his head, a creature you cannot catch, for it never remains in any one place."
EPOPS. By Zeus himself! your jest hits the mark. What then is to be done?
PISTHETAERUS. Found a city.
EPOPS. We birds? But what sort of city should we build?
PISTHETAERUS. Oh, really, really! 'tis spoken like a fool! Look down.
EPOPS. I am looking.
PISTHETAERUS. Now look upwards.
EPOPS. I am looking.
PISTHETAERUS. Turn your head round.
EPOPS. Ah! 'twill be pleasant for me, if I end in twisting my neck!
PISTHETAERUS. What have you seen?
EPOPS. The clouds and the sky.
PISTHETAERUS. Very well! is not this the pole of the birds then?
EPOPS. How their pole?
PISTHETAERUS. Or, if you like it, the land. And since it turns and passes through the whole universe, it is called, 'pole.'197 If you build and fortify it, you will turn your pole into a fortified city.198 In this way you will reign over mankind as you do over the grasshoppers and cause the gods to die of rabid hunger.
EPOPS. How so?
PISTHETAERUS. The air is 'twixt earth and heaven. When we want to go to Delphi, we ask the Boeotians199 for leave of passage; in the same way, when men sacrifice to the gods, unless the latter pay you tribute, you exercise the right of every nation towards strangers and don't allow the smoke of the sacrifices to pass through your city and territory.
EPOPS. By earth! by snares! by network!200 I never heard of anything more cleverly conceived; and, if the other birds approve, I am going to build the city along with you.
PISTHETAERUS. Who will explain the matter to them?
EPOPS. You must yourself. Before I came they were quite ignorant, but since I have lived with them I have taught them to speak.
PISTHETAERUS. But how can they be gathered together?
EPOPS. Easily. I will hasten down to the coppice to waken my dear Procné;201 as soon as they hear our voices, they will come to us hot wing.
PISTHETAERUS. My dear bird, lose no time, I beg. Fly at once into the coppice and awaken Procné.
EPOPS. Chase off drowsy sleep, dear companion. Let the sacred hymn gush from thy divine throat in melodious strains; roll forth in soft cadence your refreshing melodies to bewail the fate of Itys,202 which has been the cause of so many tears to us both. Your pure notes rise through the thick leaves of the yew-tree right up to the throne of Zeus, where Phoebus listens to you, Phoebus with his golden hair. And his ivory lyre responds to your plaintive accents; he gathers the choir of the gods and from their immortal lips rushes a sacred chant of blessed voices. (The flute is played behind the scene.)
PISTHETAERUS. Oh! by Zeus! what a throat that little bird possesses. He has filled the whole coppice with honey-sweet melody!
EUELPIDES. Hush!
PISTHETAERUS. What's the matter?
EUELPIDES. Will you keep silence?
PISTHETAERUS. What for?
EUELPIDES. Epops is going to sing again.
EPOPS (in the coppice). Epopoi, poi, popoi, epopoi, popoi, here, here, quick, quick, quick, my comrades in the air; all you, who pillage the fertile lands of the husbandmen, the numberless tribes who gather and devour the barley seeds, the swift flying race who sing so sweetly. And you whose gentle twitter resounds through the fields with the little cry of tio, tio, tio, tio, tio, tio, tio, tio; and you who hop about the branches of the ivy in the gardens; the mountain birds, who feed on the wild olive berries or the arbutus, hurry to come at my call, trioto, trioto, totobrix; you also, who snap up the sharp-stinging gnats in the marshy vales, and you who dwell in the fine plain of Marathon, all damp with dew, and you, the francolin with speckled wings; you too, the halcyons, who flit over the swelling waves of the sea, come hither to hear the tidings; let all the tribes of long-necked birds assemble here; know that a clever old man has come to us, bringing an entirely new idea and proposing great reforms. Let all come to the debate here, here, here, here. Torotorotorotorotix, kikkobau, kikkobau, torotorotorotorolililix.
PISTHETAERUS. Can you see any bird?
EUELPIDES. By Phoebus, no! and yet I am straining my eyesight to scan the sky.
PISTHETAERUS. 'Twas really not worth Epops' while to go and bury himself in the thicket like a plover when a-hatching.
PHOENICOPTERUS. Torotina, torotina.
PISTHETAERUS. Hold, friend, here is another bird.
EUELPIDES. I' faith, yes! 'tis a bird, but of what kind? Isn't it a peacock?
PISTHETAERUS. Epops will tell us. What is this bird?
EPOPS. 'Tis not one of those you are used to seeing; 'tis a bird from the marshes.
PISTHETAERUS. Oh! oh! but he is very handsome with his wings as crimson as flame.
EPOPS. Undoubtedly; indeed he is called flamingo.203
EUELPIDES. Hi! I say! You!
PISTHETAERUS. What are you shouting for?
EUELPIDES. Why, here's another bird.
PISTHETAERUS. Aye, indeed; 'tis a foreign bird too. What is this bird from beyond the mountains with a look as solemn as it is stupid?
EPOPS. He is called the Mede.204
PISTHETAERUS. The Mede! But, by Heracles! how, if a Mede, has he flown here without a camel?
EUELPIDES. Here's another bird with a crest.
PISTHETAERUS. Ah! that's curious. I say, Epops, you are not the only one of your kind then?
EPOPS. This bird is the son of Philocles, who is the son of Epops;205 so that, you see, I am his grandfather; just as one might say, Hipponicus,206 the son of Callias, who is the son of Hipponicus.
PISTHETAERUS. Then this bird is Callias! Why, what a lot of his feathers he has lost!207
EPOPS. That's because he is honest; so the informers set upon him and the women too pluck out his feathers.
PISTHETAERUS. By Posidon, do you see that many-coloured bird? What is his name?
EPOPS. This one? 'Tis the glutton.
PISTHETAERUS. Is there another glutton besides Cleonymus? But why, if he is Cleonymus, has he not thrown away his crest?208 But what is the meaning of all these crests? Have these birds come to contend for the double stadium prize?209
EPOPS. They are like the Carians, who cling to the crests of their mountains for greater safety.210
PISTHETAERUS. Oh, Posidon! do you see what swarms of birds are gathering here?
EUELPIDES. By Phoebus! what a cloud! The entrance to the stage is no longer visible, so closely do they fly together.
PISTHETAERUS. Here is the partridge.
EUELPIDES. Faith! there is the francolin.
PISTHETAERUS. There is the poachard.
EUELPIDES. Here is the kingfisher. And over yonder?
EPOPS. 'Tis the barber.
EUELPIDES. What? a bird a barber?
PISTHETAERUS. Why, Sporgilus is one.211 Here comes the owl.
EUELPIDES. And who is it brings an owl to Athens?212
PISTHETAERUS. Here is the magpie, the turtle-dove, the swallow, the horned owl, the buzzard, the pigeon, the falcon, the ring-dove, the cuckoo, the red-foot, the red-cap, the purple-cap, the kestrel, the diver, the ousel, the osprey, the wood-pecker.
EUELPIDES. Oh! oh! what a lot of birds! what a quantity of blackbirds! how they scold, how they come rushing up! What a noise! what a noise! Can they be bearing us ill-will? Oh! there! there! they are opening their beaks and staring at us.
PISTHETAERUS. Why, so they are.
CHORUS. Popopopopopopopoi. Where is he who called me? Where am I to find him?
EPOPS. I have been waiting for you this long while; I never fail in my word to my friends.
CHORUS. Titititititititi. What good thing have you to tell me?
EPOPS. Something that concerns our common safety, and that is just as pleasant as it is to the purpose. Two men, who are subtle reasoners, have come here to seek me.
CHORUS. Where? What? What are you saying?
EPOPS. I say, two old men have come from the abode of men to propose a vast and splendid scheme to us.
CHORUS. Oh! 'tis a horrible, unheard-of crime! What are you saying?
EPOPS. Nay! never let my words scare you.
CHORUS. What have you done then?
EPOPS. I have welcomed two men, who wish to live with us.
CHORUS. And you have dared to do that!
EPOPS. Aye, and am delighted at having done so.
CHORUS. Where are they?
EPOPS. In your midst, as I am.
CHORUS. Ah! ah! we are betrayed; 'tis sacrilege! Our friend, he who picked up corn-seeds in the same plains as ourselves, has violated our ancient laws; he has broken the oaths that bind all birds; he has laid a snare for me, he has handed us over to the attacks of that impious race which, throughout all time, has never ceased to war against us. As for this traitorous bird, we will decide his case later, but the two old men shall be punished forthwith; we are going to tear them to pieces.
PISTHETAERUS. 'Tis all over with us.
EUELPIDES. You are the sole cause of all our trouble. Why did you bring me from down yonder?
PISTHETAERUS. To have you with me.
EUELPIDES. Say rather to have me melt into tears.
PISTHETAERUS. Go to! you are talking nonsense.
EUELPIDES. How so?
PISTHETAERUS. How will you be able to cry when once your eyes are pecked out?
CHORUS. Io! io! forward to the attack, throw yourselves upon the foe, spill his blood; take to your wings and surround them on all sides. Woe to them! let us get to work with our beaks, let us devour them. Nothing can save them from our wrath, neither the mountain forests, nor the clouds that float in the sky, nor the foaming deep. Come, peck, tear to ribbons. Where is the chief of the cohort? Let him engage the right wing.
EUELPIDES. This is the fatal moment. Where shall I fly to, unfortunate wretch that I am?
PISTHETAERUS. Stay! stop here!
EUELPIDES. That they may tear me to pieces?
PISTHETAERUS. And how do you think to escape them?
EUELPIDES. I don't know at all.
PISTHETAERUS. Come, I will tell you. We must stop and fight them. Let us arm ourselves with these stew-pots.
EUELPIDES. Why with the stew-pots?
PISTHETAERUS. The owl will not attack us.213
EUELPIDES. But do you see all those hooked claws?
PISTHETAERUS. Seize the spit and pierce the foe on your side.
EUELPIDES. And how about my eyes?
PISTHETAERUS. Protect them with this dish or this vinegar-pot.
EUELPIDES. Oh! what cleverness! what inventive genius! You are a great general, even greater than Nicias,214 where stratagem is concerned.
CHORUS. Forward, forward, charge with your beaks! Come, no delay. Tear, pluck, strike, flay them, and first of all smash the stew-pot.
EPOPS. Oh, most cruel of all animals, why tear these two men to pieces, why kill them? What have they done to you? They belong to the same tribe, to the same family as my wife.215
CHORUS. Are wolves to be spared? Are they not our most mortal foes? So let us punish them.
EPOPS. If they are your foes by nature, they are your friends in heart, and they come here to give you useful advice.
CHORUS. Advice or a useful word from their lips, from them, the enemies of my forbears!
EPOPS. The wise can often profit by the lessons of a foe, for caution is the mother of safety. 'Tis just such a thing as one will not learn from a friend and which an enemy compels you to know. To begin with, 'tis the foe and not the friend that taught cities to build high walls, to equip long vessels of war; and 'tis this knowledge that protects our children, our slaves and our wealth.
CHORUS. Well then, I agree, let us first hear them, for 'tis best; one can even learn something in an enemy's school.
PISTHETAERUS. Their wrath seems to cool. Draw back a little.
EPOPS. 'Tis only justice, and you will thank me later.
CHORUS. Never have we opposed your advice up to now.
PISTHETAERUS. They are in a more peaceful mood; put down your stew-pot and your two dishes; spit in hand, doing duty for a spear, let us mount guard inside the camp close to the pot and watch in our arsenal closely; for we must not fly.
EUELPIDES. You are right. But where shall we be buried, if we die?
PISTHETAERUS. In the Ceramicus;216 for, to get a public funeral, we shall tell the Strategi that we fell at Orneae,217 fighting the country's foes.
CHORUS. Return to your ranks and lay down your courage beside your wrath as the Hoplites do. Then let us ask these men who they are, whence they come, and with what intent. Here, Epops, answer me.
EPOPS. Are you calling me? What do you want of me?
CHORUS. Who are they? From what country?
EPOPS. Strangers, who have come from Greece, the land of the wise.
CHORUS. And what fate has led them hither to the land of the birds?
EPOPS. Their love for you and their wish to share your kind of life; to dwell and remain with you always.
CHORUS. Indeed, and what are their plans?
EPOPS. They are wonderful, incredible, unheard of.
CHORUS. Why, do they think to see some advantage that determines them to settle here? Are they hoping with our help to triumph over their foes or to be useful to their friends?
EPOPS. They speak of benefits so great it is impossible either to describe or conceive them; all shall be yours, all that we see here, there, above and below us; this they vouch for.
CHORUS. Are they mad?
EPOPS. They are the sanest people in the world.
CHORUS. Clever men?
EPOPS. The slyest of foxes, cleverness its very self, men of the world, cunning, the cream of knowing folk.
CHORUS. Tell them to speak and speak quickly; why, as I listen to you, I am beside myself with delight.
EPOPS. Here, you there, take all these weapons and hang them up inside close to the fire, near the figure of the god who presides there and under his protection;218 as for you, address the birds, tell them why I have gathered them together.
PISTHETAERUS. Not I, by Apollo, unless they agree with me as the little ape of an armourer agreed with his wife, not to bite me, nor pull me by the testicles, nor shove things up my….
CHORUS. You mean the…. (Puts finger to bottom.) Oh! be quite at ease.
PISTHETAERUS. No, I mean my eyes.
CHORUS. Agreed.
PISTHETAERUS. Swear it.
CHORUS. I swear it and, if I keep my promise, let judges and spectators give me the victory unanimously.
PISTHETAERUS. It is a bargain.
CHORUS. And if I break my word, may I succeed by one vote only.
HERALD. Hearken, ye people! Hoplites, pick up your weapons and return to your firesides; do not fail to read the decrees of dismissal we have posted.
CHORUS. Man is a truly cunning creature, but nevertheless explain. Perhaps you are going to show me some good way to extend my power, some way that I have not had the wit to find out and which you have discovered. Speak! 'tis to your own interest as well as to mine, for if you secure me some advantage, I will surely share it with you. But what object can have induced you to come among us? Speak boldly, for I shall not break the truce,—until you have told us all.
PISTHETAERUS. I am bursting with desire to speak; I have already mixed the dough of my address and nothing prevents me from kneading it…. Slave! bring the chaplet and water, which you must pour over my hands. Be quick!219
EUELPIDES. Is it a question of feasting? What does it all mean?
PISTHETAERUS. By Zeus, no! but I am hunting for fine, tasty words to break down the hardness of their hearts.—I grieve so much for you, who at one time were kings….
