Nikolay Lakutin
The teacher. A play for 4 people. Comedy
Ksyusha remains silent. Sulking. He's waiting for Sanek to pack up and leave.
Sanek is coming back. He's wearing his own clothes, and he's holding a battery.
Sanek. I got home from work, damn it, early. I made a surprise. Pleased!
Ksyusha. Come on, come on! Go on! Think about your behavior.
Sanek. Yes, I'll go, but will I come back?.. This is a big question!
Ksyusha. Good riddance!
Sanek. There are flowers in a vase in the kitchen, and a cake on the table. Eat and smell! Have a nice evening, madam! Happy stay!
Sanek is about to leave, but happy Anna and Victor enter to meet him. Victor has a cake in his hands.
Victor. Hello everyone. I'm healthy, Alexander.
Victor holds out his hand to say hello.
Sanek. Hi. Sorry, my hands are busy.
Victor. So put the battery on. Or are you in a hurry?
Sanek. I'm in a hurry. I'm in a hurry.
Ksyusha. He is late, he urgently needs to find other Ksyusha. Yes, more, but quieter. Those with whom to feast and to peace. And then, you see, they take out his brains. Everything must have been taken out, there is nothing left.
Anna. Guys, don't fight. Let's sit together and have tea. We have a serious reason. Let's celebrate.
Sanek. What? Has Vitek signed a new serious contract? Let's be happy for him. Well done. I'm sorry, I can't clap, my hands are busy.
Anna. Yes, put that battery on already, Sasha.
Victor. And you're almost right about the contract! You could say that.
Ksyusha. What's so joyful about you there?
Anna. Victor proposed to me! Here!
Anna shows the ring on her finger.
Anna. We have just filed an application from the registry office.
Victor joyfully picks up a cake.
Victor. Shall we celebrate?
Ksyusha begins to howl with resentment, envy and anger.
Ksyusha. Ahhh! Get the fuck out of here! That's it! The whole trio! Along with cakes, batteries and rings! Otherwise, I can't vouch for myself, I can strangle one or two inadvertently!
Anna. Ksyusha, what are you doing?
Sanek. It's you, brothers, who are on her sore spot…
Ksyusha. In-o-o-n!
Ksyusha pushes everyone out of the apartment. Is returning. He falls to the floor, sobbing.
Scene 6
Street. Victor, Anna, and Sanek with a battery in their hands.
Sanek. Sorry, guys, we got into a hot hand. Ksyukha is outgoing, in two hours you can already come in. He will meet you as if nothing had happened.
Victor. And what happened there?
Sanek. Yes…
Anna. Put this battery on already, after all.
Sanek puts the battery on, unbends, stretches his back.
Sanek. They had a row about the stamp in the passport.
Anna. Sasha? She really has been worried about this for a long time and very much. You've been dating for quite a long time, and you're not asking her to get married. Naturally, she thinks different things. And it's different – not in your favor.
Sanek. And you did well. One– two, and that's it. Smart guys.
Victor. The word success, and the word to make it – they are very happy, Alexander. If you miss your chance, there may not be a second one. It's the same in the matter of personal relationships. No, of course, you don't need to rush at the first person you meet, but there's no need to delay either. If you understand that the person is yours, if you feel it, and if it's mutual – act, don't slow down!
Anna. Maybe you just didn't feel it? How do you feel about Ksyusha? Is it serious, or what?
Sanek smiles guiltily and remains silent.
Pause.
Sanek takes a box with wedding rings out of his pants pocket, opens it, shows it.
Sanek. Yes, I felt everything. I haven't looked at anyone except Ksyukha for a long time, I'm not looking for anyone, I'm not choosing. I just wanted everything to be human. To have something to go on a honeymoon. I've been collecting money for a long time. Kolyma, part-time jobs, and so on. I didn't save up for an apartment, but I took aim at a foreign car. I thought we would get married, travel, and then come, and immediately take Ksyukha to the car dealership, together we will choose our joint swallow and …
Victor. Did you want to propose to her today?
Sanek. Wanted… I didn't have time, she immediately attacked me, didn't let me say a word.
Anna. Sasha, well, you understand her too. It wasn't out of spite that she told you, it was all nerves. Don't give up, do you hear? I've known you for a long time, you're a good couple. Please, just don't give up!
Sanek. And I'm not going to!
Victor. How can I help you? Tell me, we'll do everything we can. Maybe arrange some kind of unexpected surprise for her? If you want, we'll take her out into nature, invite the orchestra, and there you will appear in a white suit, with flowers and with these very rings. We'll do something like that. What do you think?
Anna. By the way, it's interesting!
Sanek. No, my friends, I've had enough of surprises. I'll be back right now, either I'll put the ring on her finger or the battery on her head. Pan or gone! One of two things.
Sanek resolutely grabs his battery and heads back to Ksyusha's apartment.
Scene 7
It's been a while.
Restaurant. Anna and Victor are having dinner.
Victor. Thomas called me yesterday. Happy as I don't know who. Puppy delight was oozing right through the phone.
Anna. Oh, yeah. I understand. Indeed, last week we called him, talked, and I gave him Julia's contacts. I also prepared Julia. So they had met.
Victor. We met. We walked late. The mother was already worried, the whole city was on its ears. He put the phone on silent so as not to interfere. Then he called me back from home the next day. Dovo-o-lny.
Anna. Julia is not a bad girl. It won't teach you anything bad.
Victor. But Thomas can.
Anna. With such a guy, I don't worry about the young ones.
Victor. Everything is clear with the young, but what about the not too young?
Anna. Are you talking about you and me?
Victor nods affirmatively.
Anna. Come on, there's still a whole life ahead. It's too early to register us as old men.
Victor smiles.
Anna. Did you want to ask me something? Is something bothering you? Embarrassing? Is it disturbing?
Victor. Anyut, you've plowed your own. Maybe it's already good? If you really want to, let's open a private kindergarten, you will supervise it. You will be the manager when you want to spend time with the children – no question, it's up to you. But to ruin your health for pennies and also such a responsibility… We live together, the wedding is coming soon. I'll give you everything you ask for, everything I can, and now I can do a lot. Take care of yourself, please. After all, you're getting a lot of nerves in this institution of yours. Do you need it?
Pause.
Anna. And then who will stay in the garden?
Victor. But you're not alone, are you? There are other teachers there, and you can always hire a person instead of you.
Anna. Do you think there are crowds of people willing to do such a job? Vit…
They exchange glances.
Anna. I am grateful to you for everything you do for me. You are a real gift from heaven to me. And I, in turn, will try to do everything not to disappoint you, so that you will never regret your choice. But let me stay with the kids, with my kids.
Victor. No, no, I'm not insisting in any way, I'm just suggesting. It's a pity to see you hanging out there.
Anna. Yes, this job is exhausting, but I'm doing a decent job. It seems to me that this is a very necessary case. I try to do everything in my power so that children are brought up in love, understanding and warm human feelings. I believe that this will bear fruit and my labors will not be in vain.
Victor. I understand you. Okay, I'm sorry, let's not go back to this conversation. If you ever find it necessary, you will raise this issue yourself.
Anna. Good. “thanks.
Anna kisses Victor on the cheek.
Victor. Well, what about your friend Ksenia?
Anna. We are calling Ksyusha, everything is fine with her.
Victor. From her?
Anna. They have.
Victor. So, Alexander after all…
Ksyusha and Alexander, smartly dressed, enter the restaurant. They laugh loudly, tease each other, and interrupt Victor's thought.
Anna. Guys? Hi!
Ksyusha. Anka! Hi. By what fates? Hello there.
Victor. Hi hi
Victor gets up, Sanka approaches, the men shake hands in greeting.
Victor. How is it? Judging by the fact that Ksyusha's head is not crowned with a battery, did everything go as it should?
Sanka. It's all good. We have submitted an application, we are waiting. How are you?
Victor. It's also passable.
Ksyusha. What are you doing here?
Anna. We have dinner here sometimes. And also, if anything, this is Victor's restaurant.
Ksyusha. Oh?
Victor. More precisely, Anna. My wedding present.
Ksyusha (Sanka). What are you going to give me? A bag of seeds?
Sanka (to Victor). You're spoiling all my raspberries again, classmate.
Victor. I'm sorry, I didn't think of that.
Sanka (Ksyusha). I'm not like a restaurant, berry, I'll give you the sky and all the stars on it! So that they shine brightly for you! The restaurant will close sooner or later. It will go bankrupt, die, burn.
Anna. Uh!
Sanka (Ksyusha). And the stars will shine forever! And every time in your honor!
Ksyusha smiles approvingly.
Sanka. I suggest celebrating this event in this wonderful restaurant to the fullest. Vitka is paying!
Victor. I agree.
Anna. Come on, let's sit down.
Sanka and Ksyusha sit down at a table with Victor and Anna, Victor quickly brings two more glasses and a new bottle of wine. He takes care of everyone, pours.
Sanka. So, well? For the meeting, for the dispersal?
Victor. No, let me take the floor and propose another toast.
Ksyusha. We allow it.
Anna. I'm all for it.
Sanka capitulates, raises his hands.
Victor (standing up). Dear friends! It so happened that life shuffled us all in a certain way, but brought us together today in this wonderful place. Two beautiful couples embark on their new unknown path. Probably, there will also be turns along the way, some kind of winds and unplanned events that in various situations will show us who we really are. Let's raise these glasses so that in any case, even with the most sophisticated trials of Fate, we will go this way to the end together with our chosen couples, our newly-made families. And so that we can walk this path with dignity!
Victor gives Anna a pen.
Victor. Anna Andreyevna!
Anna takes Victor's hand, stands next to him, smiles warmly.
Sanka gets up and gives a pen to Ksyusha.
Sanka. Ksenia Rudolfovna!
Ksyusha takes Sanka's hand, stands next to him, smiles warmly at her man.
Victor. For our worthy ways together!
Anna. Hurray!
Ksyusha. Hurray!
Victor and Sanka (in chorus, complementing the girls). Hooray!
A curtain
Novosibirsk, April 2024
***
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